Self-love had always been a concept that was difficult for me to grasp and define. That was why I decided to begin my search for the true meaning of self-love. For this I have read different books and online articles. I found out that the definition of self-love can not be put down in one sentence. It has different dimensions that all contribute to the meaning of self-love. But what are they?

Self-love is an inner feeling
Self-love is the love you feel for yourself. It comes from within and can not be externally acquired. So, unlike what a lot of us think, self-love can not be attained by material possessions. The highest level of self-love rests on being at peace with everything that defines you and having an unconditional feeling of love for yourself. You do not need tangible things to realise this.

Self-love flourishes in unfavourable moments
As mentioned above, self-love is about unconditional love for yourself. This means that no matter what, you love yourself with the same intensity. Besides good moments, there will bad ones that will make yourself feel silly, ashamed or crazy. In fact, it is especially the unhappy and unfavourable moments that bring you closer to self-love. They put to test the love you have for yourself. Overcoming each and every one of them only strengthens self-love. Still being able to declare self-love in less happy moments is what you call true self-love.

Self-love is about commitment
Self-love is not an activity that you only do at times when it suits you. Self-love asks for commitment. Especially at the beginning, I can imagine how difficult it is to keep committing when things get hard and go wrong. We as human beings simply have the tendency to reward ourselves with love in times we do something right. However, when we make mistakes or fail in something we are also the ones who immediately take back that love as a form of punishment. How to overcome this? The key is to embrace your flaws. Realise and appreciate the good and beauty in them. Thank them for providing you valuable life lessons and teaching you how to get back up after falling. As mentioned above, always remember that the less favourable moments love you too and they let your self-love grow. So keep loving and never let anything stop you from loving yourself.

Self-love is not the same as egoism
Being egoistic means you only think about yourself. You put yourself above others at all times. This means that pursuing your own interest comes at the expense of other people. Acting egoistically is caused by the need to feel above others in compensating for the self-love that one is missing. On the contrary, self-love helps you to spread the love to other people. This is because when you are radiating self-love and shine bright, you pass that love on to others and act in harmony with their interests.

Stop waiting and start practising self-love today. Who is with me? I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time!

Love always,

Mee-Ling