I always had been a girl who did everything to hold on to promises to others. However, the ones I make to myself oftentimes end up at the very bottom of the list. I had caught myself more times neglecting my promises than that I have really lived up to them. When I was younger this had made a large impact on me, more than I could realise at that time. Now looking back to this time, I really want to apologise to my younger self, apologise for the fact that I had make her feel uncertain and inferior. Through this way, I somehow still want to make it up to her and correct the way she saw self-promises, as if I could really turn back time. At the same time, I am also writing this to you. Maybe you also had or still have difficulty keeping promises to yourself, while keeping promises to others has always felt easier.
To my younger self:
Only if I could tell you that making self-promises is not egoistic at all. Instead it is essential for your self-development and growth. You need to hold yourself accountable for taking steps towards self-growth. Making promises and trying with all your might to keep to them, help you to develop self-trust and self-esteem. You learn to rely and count on yourself in making the best out of your life. Start with small promises to build confidence in both yourself and your ability to deliver on your promises. Eventually, you will learn to consistently do what you have promised yourself to do. It is a learning process in which you create and shape the life you want. Keep motivating yourself and tracking your progress by appreciating & celebrating yourself for every promise that you have fulfilled.
Only if I could tell you that no one makes better promises to you than yourself. No one understands you better than yourself. No one knows your wants, needs and goals in your life better than yourself. So you are the only one who can best make and live to the promises that provide you with the highest added value.
Only if I could tell you that life is all about reciprocity. The fact that you succeed better in keeping promises to others is because you care to much about others, while not everybody cares about you in the same extent. Do not make promises and effort to people who are not willing to do the same for you. Let them go. Life is about giving but also receiving. Stop making one-sided promises. Put the time & effort you free up into self-promises to become a better version of yourself everyday. You will eventually attract people to come and stay into your life without having to make excessive (imbalanced) effort for making them doing so.
My younger self, you, are part of the person I am at this very moment. From now on I am going to make you feel comfortable in making and keeping promises to yourself, so that you can be proud of yourself again.
Start being the person you needed when you were younger.
Until next time!